Beginning to Become through Contemplative Practices

Today, I’m honored to be hosted as a guest blogger on my new friend Barry Pearman’s excellent website, Turning the Page.  Here’s a little taste to whet your appetite!

The first time I tried centering prayer, I cried.  I mean cried.  

Sobbed, really.

I was finishing up my seminary degree, burned out and disillusioned, consumed with self-doubt and the uncertainty over that nebulous next step in my life.  My spiritual director sat quietly with me in her office that early autumn afternoon, wordlessly handing me a second box of tissues.  

After a while, when I had collected the broken pieces of myself into a little pile on the couch and sat there sniffling and twisting a crumpled tissue in my hands, she very gently said, “I’m sensing that you’re experiencing some emotion right now.”

I laughed and wiped away fresh tears.  Understatement of the year.

Check out Turning the Page to read the rest!

Daily Lectio Divina: John 1:3-5

Daily Lectio Divina: John 1:3-5

Episode 427

In this episode of the guided lectio divina podcast, we’re using John 1:3-5.

To listen to the podcast, use the audio player below, or right click here to download the file.

I invite you to visit the Sacred Pilgrim Facebook page where you can share your word or phrase and what came up for you during your prayer time.

Daily Lectio Divina: John 1:1-2

Daily Lectio Divina: John 1:1-2

Episode 426

In this episode of the guided lectio divina podcast, we’re using John 1:1-2.

To listen to the podcast, use the audio player below, or right click here to download the file.

I invite you to visit the Sacred Pilgrim Facebook page where you can share your word or phrase and what came up for you during your prayer time.

Monday Meditation: God showed up

Monday Meditation: God showed up

While I’m out of town, please enjoy this excerpt from an old HBT blog post:

I walked slowly, not quite contemplatively, through the sage along the gravel path and wound my way across the estuary. I stopped on the bridge and watched the ducks and leopard sharks swim in wide circles and figure 8s.  I breathed deeply. I looked up at the misty morning, still dark enough that my sensitive eyes could take everything in through their own lenses and not the dark ones I carry with me everywhere.  I continued on.

I turned on my iPod and played a guided Lectio Divina reading I downloaded from my new friend Christianne Squires’ Cup of Sunday Quiet. (I highly recommend it, by the way!) I walked slowly through the salt marsh, noticed my breathing, and listened to a gospel reading in Christianne’s measured voice.  I walked. I breathed. I listened.

And then God showed up.

I don’t know why I am always surprised when God does that.  But I am, every single time.  Maybe it’s because at the bottom of everything, at the very root of the deepest lies that cause the woundedness in my life, I don’t believe God is trustworthy.  Still.  Even after all the healing, all the truth, all the trust God and I have built up in our relationship over the years.  Even after the dark night of the soul and the wilderness experience and all the ways God has tried to mature my faith, even now I am still surprised when God shows up.

I expect it more often. I trust that despite my lack of faith it will happen.  But I’m still surprised.

Or maybe it’s more that God just enjoys surprising me.  Maybe it’s that God delights in delighting me.  Maybe it’s like God is playing hide-and-seek with the child in myself.

Me: God, where are you? I’m looking for you.

God: Here I am! You found me!

And you know what? I just couldn’t wait to get back home and put up this blog post.  Because really and truly, my lovely readers, know this: God delights in delighting you, too.  God enjoys surprising us.  God, with infinite wisdom and gentle grace, continues to show up for each of us, every time.  All we have to do is get quiet, get listening.

All we have to do is show up, too.

Daily Lectio Divina: Go within

Daily Lectio Divina: Go within

Episode 425

In this episode of the guided lectio divina podcast, we’re concluding our series on Wisdom from Rilke using selections from Letters to a Young Poet by the Austrian writer Rainer Maria Rilke.  This week’s theme is Inner Wisdom, and today’s reading comes from The First Letter.

I know of no other advice than this: Go within and scale the depths of your being from which your very life springs forth.

To listen to the podcast, use the audio player below, or right click here to download the file.

I invite you to visit the Sacred Pilgrim Facebook page where you can share your word or phrase and what came up for you during your prayer time.

Daily Lectio Divina: Only he who can

Daily Lectio Divina: Only he who can

Episode 424

In this episode of the guided lectio divina podcast, we’re continuing our series on Wisdom from Rilke using selections from Letters to a Young Poet by the Austrian writer Rainer Maria Rilke.  This week’s theme is Inner Wisdom, and today’s reading comes from The Eighth Letter.

Only he who can expect anything, who does not exclude even the mysterious, will have a relationship to life greater than just being alive; he will exhaust his own wellspring of being.

To listen to the podcast, use the audio player below, or right click here to download the file.

I invite you to visit the Sacred Pilgrim Facebook page where you can share your word or phrase and what came up for you during your prayer time.

Daily Lectio Divina: If you will love

Daily Lectio Divina: If you will love

Episode 423

In this episode of the guided lectio divina podcast, we’re continuing our series on Wisdom from Rilke using selections from Letters to a Young Poet by the Austrian writer Rainer Maria Rilke.  This week’s theme is Inner Wisdom, and today’s reading comes again from The Fourth Letter.

If you will love what seems to be insignificant and will in an unassuming manner, as a servant, seek to win the confidence of what seems poor, then everything will become easier, more harmonious, and somehow more conciliatory, not for your intellect — that will most likely remain behind, astonished — but for your innermost consciousness, your awakeness, and your inner knowing.

To listen to the podcast, use the audio player below, or right click here to download the file.

I invite you to visit the Sacred Pilgrim Facebook page where you can share your word or phrase and what came up for you during your prayer time.

Daily Lectio Divina: If you will stay

Daily Lectio Divina: If you will stay

Episode 422

In this episode of the guided lectio divina podcast, we’re continuing our series on Wisdom from Rilke using selections from Letters to a Young Poet by the Austrian writer Rainer Maria Rilke.  This week’s theme is Inner Wisdom, and today’s reading comes from The Fourth Letter.

If you will stay close to nature, to its simplicity, to the small things hardly noticeable, those things can unexpectedly become great and immeasurable.

To listen to the podcast, use the audio player below, or right click here to download the file.

I invite you to visit the Sacred Pilgrim Facebook page where you can share your word or phrase and what came up for you during your prayer time.

Monday Meditation: The Beauty of the Labyrinth, Part 2

Monday Meditation: The Beauty of the Labyrinth, Part 2

Last week, I shared about how my natural linear thinking impacts my ability to walk life’s journey:

Instead of taking just that next step, trusting that the way has been laid out before me with precision and care to lead me in the way I should go–instead of walking in the wise way, I walk in the worried way.

When I sense that I have strayed from the wise way of walking, I find myself drawn to the labyrinth.  At these moments, the labyrinth becomes–for me–chiefly an embodied prayer.  The metaphor is clothed in tangible reality.  I take actual, physical steps with my flesh-and-blood feet along a real-life path.  I breathe slowly and deeply. I slow my pace to match my breath.  Breathe.  Step.  Breathe.  Step.

As I walk, I allow myself to notice what comes up on my journey toward the center, be gently present with whatever arises–without judgment or solutions or analysis–as I rest in the center, and finally choose to release it into God’s hands on the journey back out.

Embrace the Nonlinear Journey

As I walk the labyrinth, I gradually realize again and again that the invitation of the labyrinth is to embrace the nonlinear journey: full of twists and turns and doubling back, circling right back to the starting point–but not quite. Although I feel like I’m back in the same place again, I’m actually still moving forward along the same path, the only path, the only way to the center–where the presence of God is waiting to reveal just a little more of the true self.

Time and again I surprise myself that I still walk with the expectation that my destination is the center.   The center itself is not the goal, not the destination, not the end point. In the labyrinth walk, the center is only the midpoint.  A pause along the journey, a moment of rest, a breath.

Then begins the journey outward, walking the path again, placing footsteps upon footsteps, back and back again to where I started.  Back to the beginning–back in the world, crossing the threshold once more into the space of ordinary walk.

Except this time, I’m changed in some way.  This time I carry with me all the steps I’ve taken along the twisting way, all the breaths I’ve breathed, all the precious moments in the center and along the path of my intentional walk.

The Beauty of the Labyrinth

The beauty of the labyrinth practice, for me, is that its wandering, meandering, nonlinear path toward and then away from the center constantly draws me back to grace and invites me to make room for compassion with each step, each breath.

Walking with compassion means allowing myself to be in a place I’m disappointed about, to accept myself as I am and where I am in this moment, to stop trying to be where I’m not.  Walking with compassion means releasing control and choosing to stop striving so there is space again for grace.

Even if I find I am short on grace for myself in these moments, the labyrinth invites me to choose to trust that the grace God is always extending toward me is sufficient.

So my prayer for all of us, fellow pilgrims, is that we might breathe, step, and walk this journey with compassion toward ourselves and with the intention to create space in ourselves to receive and rest in God’s grace–always sufficient, always more than enough.

Daily Lectio Divina: Observe carefully

Daily Lectio Divina: Observe carefully

Episode 421

In this episode of the guided lectio divina podcast, we’re continuing our series on Wisdom from Rilke using selections from Letters to a Young Poet by the Austrian writer Rainer Maria Rilke.  This week’s theme is Inner Wisdom, and today’s reading comes from The Sixth Letter.

[O]bserve carefully what wells up within you and place that above everything that you notice around you.  Your innermost happening is worth all your love.

To listen to the podcast, use the audio player below, or right click here to download the file.

I invite you to visit the Sacred Pilgrim Facebook page where you can share your word or phrase and what came up for you during your prayer time.